When you’re deep in the trenches—leading a business with twenty-something staff, juggling client work, operations, strategy, people—your head is down and your energy is all in. You don’t get much time to reflect. You just keep going.
But once I stepped away, I realised just how much I hadn’t seen. For years, I was too close to it all to appreciate what we’d actually built. Stepping out gave me a completely different view—of the business, yes, but more importantly, of myself.
Exiting the business gave me something I hadn’t really had before: perspective. It made me stop and ask, What did we really build? What did I actually learn through all of that?
Turns out, a lot.
It’s easy to miss that when you’re in it. You become good—exceptionally good—at what you do, and that becomes your identity. You solve problems. You handle pressure. You just know how things should work. But there’s a trap in that, too. When you’re so technically strong, it becomes hard to let go. Your value feels tied to the doing. That was definitely true for me.
But stepping back after the exit forced me to rethink all that. I had to ask: if I’m not “Tom the business owner” or “Tom the technician,” who am I? And the answer surprised me. I’m someone who’s built something valuable, navigated tough times, led people, made decisions that mattered. Someone who can now use all that experience in new ways. It gave me the confidence to back myself on a whole new level.
Around the same time, I started leaning more into coaching, specifically water polo. I didn’t set out to make it some kind of leadership extension. It was just something I really enjoyed and allowed me to disconnect for a few hours a week.
It turns out there are a lot of similarities.
In fact, coaching hasn’t changed my perspective on leadership or business. Leadership and business have changed my perspective on coaching.
The parallels are everywhere - preparation, mindset, teamwork, communication under pressure. Coaching has just given me a new arena to explore the same skills I developed over years in business. And it’s reminded me how much I enjoy seeing people grow, improve, and back themselves.
Whether it's a team of athletes or a team of professionals, the core dynamics don’t change much.
If there’s one insight I’d want to pass on to others who are earlier in the journey, it’s this: You are not your business.
And you’ve almost certainly achieved more than you realise.
It’s easy to get so caught up in the chaos and responsibility that you forget to acknowledge what you’ve actually done. So I’d encourage anyone running a business, especially if you’ve been doing it for a few years, to find the time to zoom out.
Really take stock. Reflect on the wins, the tough calls, the growth (personal and professional). Because if you don’t, you’ll miss one of the biggest benefits of doing it all in the first place.
You don’t need to wait for an exit to do that either. Just give yourself the space, the permission, to look at what you’ve built—and what it’s built in you.
Today, I’m in a role that challenges and stretches me, while also giving me the opportunity to contribute in different ways. I’m mentoring, coaching, building new things, and expanding how I show up—not just at work, but across life in general. I’ve let go of the need to constantly do, and started focusing more on how I can lead, support, and enable others.
It feels like a fresh chapter. I’m not trying to prove anything, but just trying to be fully present in what I’ve learned and what I know I can offer. Whether that’s in a boardroom, a startup environment, or poolside with a whistle, it all ties together more than I ever expected.
And honestly, I’m just getting started.